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What would they say at your funeral? |
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By Sharon Worsley » We have often heard this question posed by motivational experts, perhaps in the hope of spurring us to examine our life. Last year I attended the funeral of my friend Alma and while sitting there prior to the service this question popped into my head.
Have I used my time, thus far, wisely? If I were the person in the casket what would people be saying about my life? Would anyone even show up?
But back to my friend Alma… she was a mother of an eight year old little boy and devoted wife who had developed terminal cancer. Her whole life had been about serving others; no matter who needed her or what they needed, she was always there. No time was inconvenient to call her as she would always make time no matter what.
She didn’t live in a big fancy house, with an expensive car or have a very exciting job. No, Alma was dedicated to raising her young son and looking after her husband. In all the time I knew her I had never heard Alma complain about anything.
Towards the end of her illness, as the cancer was taking its final hold on her life she was in tremendous pain, far worse that I could ever imagine. Yet she never whined or asked for any pity, instead she bore it with tremendous dignity.
Sitting there, surrounded by several hundreds of people, one had the sense that this was a remarkable woman who in her own way touched the hearts of so many. Yes, her life was short, but in that brief time she had impacted the lives of others in simple yet profound ways. This was a life well lived.
The most touching part was watching her 13 nieces and nephews stand before the congregation to sing Amazing Grace. There had not been a dry eye before the service started but this took it to a deeper level. I couldn’t help reflect on how we all place our priorities and how we fill our days.
Are you captured by fame, wealth and position or do you seek more substance in your life? How do you contribute to the world, what is the mark or legacy you will leave when your time comes? How do you want to be remembered by your friends, family and colleagues? What would you want them to say about you?
So many times I hear people say that they are just too busy to make changes in their lives because they are tied up in just getting by. If you don’t take time now to correct your course, where will your life end up?
For instance, how do you spend your spare time? That is the time not occupied by working a job or raising a family. I am amazed at all the people I speak to that can tell you who is a finalist on Canadian Idol or what their favourite movie or pop star is up to, yet can’t tell you the last time they sat down and had a meaningful conversation with their spouse or child.
While no one really wants to think about a time when they will no longer be here, I suppose the question of what people will say at your funeral is a good start in re-evaluating your priorities and the changes, if any that you need to make.
What will they say at your funeral? Will it be something you can be proud of or would it bring you sadness? Would you be surprised to know what people think of you?
No matter how far you feel you are from the life you want to be living, it is never to late to make changes.
• Sharon Worsley, CEO of Live With Intent, is a personal leadership coach and motivational speaker. Her signature keynote ‘Live By Choice, Not By Chance’ assists individuals and organizations to become clear on how they can ensure the quality of their life or organization. She can be reached at
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