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How to beat the cyberbullies |
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By Frederick Rocque » There is always an air of excitement at the beginning of a new school year, as children reconnect with friends or start new friendships, reliving their holiday experiences or talking about their summer jobs. But lurking underneath is also a new reality that kids today have to grow up with – one which their parents never had to face: cyberbullying.
This is an unfortunate byproduct of the technological age, and surprisingly, few parents have woken up to the magnitude of the problem.
Cyberbullying is when a pre-teen or teen is tormented, threatened, harassed, humiliated, embarrassed or otherwise targeted by another child, using the Internet, websites, blogs, interactive and digital technologies, cellphones, or mobile phones.
According to a recent survey conducted in Canada, the United States and the United Kingdom, one in five middle school and high school students report being a victim of cyberbullying.
Easy access to cellphones and computers are the tools of the trade for the cyberbully. Anonymity is the key, and predators strike using email, instant messaging (IM) and small message service (SMS), chat rooms, websites and voting booths to intimidate, humiliate and instill fear in their victims.
With children online for long hours, cyberbullies are able to strike at will and infiltrate even their victims’ homes with impunity.
What’s more, countless free websites provide a playground for predators who think nothing of posting compromising photographs (often manipulated using software) and personal details for public viewing. Among others, websites such as YouTube, MySpace and Facebook allow instant uploads of text, video and photographic content that can be accessed worldwide. These offer great potential for abuse and misuse by predators.
Victims of cyberbullying are often reluctant to discuss such occurrences with either the school or their parents for fear of losing their computer and cellphone privileges or being looked upon as perpetrators themselves.
Apart from attempting to regulate use of computers and cellphones, school authorities are themselves not certain as to the extent of their jurisdiction.
Bill Belsey, president of Bullying.org Inc., a nonprofit group in Canada, notes that kids, parents, and schools do have ways to combat cyberbullying. Communication is one of the most lethal weapons in combating cyberbullying.
“We need to have strong communication with our kids, so they know if they are ever being cyberbullied to come forward,” says Belsey.
His website, www.cyberbullying.ca, provides vital information and assistance for victims of cyberbullying. It details steps families can take to track the owners of an email address and also provides software that can help filter text or track emails.
None of this will work unless kids are encouraged to report such incidents. The message is simple: Don’t engage the bully. Talk about the issues surrounding bullying at school and at home.
The website offers this useful 10-step guide to preventing cyberbullying and keeping our children safe from predators at school and elsewhere:
- Keep computers with Internet access in an open, commonly used space.
- Never give out personal information or passwords, PIN numbers etc.
- Do not open messages from someone you don’t know.
- Do not stay online or connected too long. Spend time with family and friends.
- Do not reply to messages from cyberbullies or suspicious sources.
- Communicate. Inform your Internet Service Provider or cellphone service provider if you receive harassing online threats.
- Get help! Tell an adult you know and trust.
- Do not erase or delete messages from cyberbullies. It can be used to track the offender and can be used as evidence.
- Protect yourself – never arrange to meet with an online contact unless your parents go with you. If you are meeting them make sure it is in a public place.
- Teach children to communicate. Do not accept the bullying behaviour as a problem your child has to live with. This behaviour is the responsibility of the bully, not the child being bullied.
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